By divine intervention, two block(quote)s were delivered to me last night. I was like “Eureka!” when I found these 10 commandments right before my eyes. I called up my friend Jesus and all he could say was, “ay Dios mios.” I guess that says it all about these rules. These are the absolutes of music blogging, obviously, Sherlock. Let them guide you if you’re starting out or are just as obscure as I am in the music blogosphere. You can try to pry them from my cold dead hands (yeah, I’m butchering pop culture references as we go), but to share is to care, so I’m sharing.
I. Thou shalt treat their website as the sunshine of their life and swear by the blogging platform thou uses and swear at all the technical stuff that goes wrong with a website.
II. Thou shalt have firm deadlines that give a little bit, minimum word counts that are flexible, and post in a defined, focused niche except when thou doesn’t.
III. Thou shalt be 99% certain that their voice is important and needs to be heard, be 100% original, give 110% every day, and abhore 120% of los numbers.
IV. Thou shalt love Arcade Fire.
V. Thou shall not envy or spite the cuteness of Zach and Kelly and bask in their eternal glory by offering pop culture references left and right.
VI. Thou shalt be funny or sarcastic or snarky or satirical or acerbic or acrimonious or salty or arrogant or backhanded or biting or sardonic or cynical or derisive or irascible or ornery or disillusioned or saucy or ironic or smart-alecky or weisenheiming or mildly entertaining.
VII. Thou shalt be cool as an old vinyl.
VIII. Thou shalt crucify nobody for their preferences, musical or otherwise.
IX. Thou shalt be the life of parties, even if thou doesn’t attend them, or thou should at least pretend to be hip.
X. Thou shalt love music, maybe?
I hope that you enjoyed my foray into something outside my normal realm of posting. I also hope that it provided at least some entertainment. And remember it’s about the music, man.