Let’s face it, you feel like shit. Maybe not right this second, but you did yesterday, or maybe you will tomorrow. OR, you could be one of those “happy-go-lucky” folks that won’t cry for the next six months, then BAM! Remember that stray kitten you’ve been nursing back to health for the past 3 weeks, yeah, well it died the night you decided to go fundraise for starving children in Africa and you asked your stoner roommate to watch Sir Delmac Darcy. Now you’re on your floor in the fetal position, weeping like a small child. Yet, for some reason, your grieving soul isn’t entirely content with the pity party you’re currently throwing yourself. What’s missing? That horrendously depressing soundtrack to complete your wail fest, that’s what’s missing. You grope for your iPod — I say grope because you can’t see through the Atlantic Ocean of tears that has welled up in your pathetic little eyes — and place those precious earbuds in your ears and you freeze …What the $%&^#@ (insert appropriate explicit here)? You begin to cry even harder, you know, that snot-coming-from-everywhere cry, because you’re at a loss for what to listen to. Have no fear, you poor little thing! Lawron is here and I’m gonna help you create the most perfect mope mix. Here’s my “Top 5 Songs to Mope To.” I would say enjoy, but that would be contradictory, wouldn’t it?
1. Radiohead – How to Disappear Completely: Radiohead, in general, is an aching soul’s dream group with their, uh, occasionally, dreary lyrics. However, this song is one of the band’s best “I’m in the worst mood” songs. I’ve started many a morning in tears and tuned in to this depressing ballad.
Theme: Not quite yourself.
Best Line of the song: “That there, that’s not me…”
2. Gnarls Barkley – Who’s Gonna Save My Soul: Normally, Gnarls Barkley entertains listeners with their quirky persona. However, in this track from the album “The Odd Couple” seems to vividly express the emotions of a love lost.
Theme: Lost love.
Best Line of the Song: “Did I never stop to wonder, was it possible you were hurting worse than me?”
3. Ray LaMontagne – Burn: If you don’t know Ray LaMontagne, you should. A folk lyricist like Dylan, LaMontagne has got some good stuff — stuff that’s normally more up-tempo. Okay, but when it comes to the track “Burn”, you can’t help but feel an insane urge to shed a couple tears.
Theme: Lost love.
Best Line of the Song: “Oh so kiss him again, just to prove to me that you can…”
4. Lauryn Hill – Gotta Find Peace of Mind: When you think about real R&B, Soul, and Hip-Hop, Lauryn Hill has to be on your mind. While her debut solo album “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill” was an overwhelming success, her MTV Unplugged album was nothing to sneeze at. The tracks provided more depth than the singles from the previous record, but were just as accessible. This particular song, although long, is a wonderful expression of the mind and its patterns of thought during particularly trying times (in her case, love).
Theme: Mental clarity.
Best Line of the Song: “Sometimes I, I fight myself…”
5. The Smiths – Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want: In contrast to Song 4 on the list, The Smiths said everything they needed to in less than two minutes. The perfect song to close out the list, “Please, Please, Please” is simple in its efforts to express how you feel when things just aren’t going your way. Although it is less specific in what Morrissey was going through when he wrote the song, its omission of detail makes it the perfect “one size fits all” mope song.
Theme: Bad string of luck.
Best Line of the Song: “See the life I’ve had, can make a good man bad.”