There are roads all around. They go north, they go south, east and west. They connect the big cities, they pass through small towns, and they travel all the space in between. They were trails blazed by pioneers, ranchers, and highwaymen. They were paved by our grandfathers and fathers. They are paths to our dreams and our nostalgia. They take us to work and back home.
Just a little while ago, I was asked what I think about. I think about dreams and how each day I sell myself a little bit shorter. Just a little bit shorter.
It helped me realize that I am not where I want to be.
It was not a singular moment that led me here. It was a series of simple moments, a set of convenient choices. They were the easy ways out and they added up.
I have wanted to go to Mount Rushmore for some time. This holiday weekend I was going to go. Then I wasn’t. Then I went on a whim alone. I bargained myself out of going a number of times before–it’s a whole weekend, the cost of gas, I didn’t have anyone to go with. But every excuse was just a self-imposed obstacle. It wasn’t easier getting there.
I won’t lie–it was a hellacious drive. Like I told my parents, there are parts of Wyoming that make you wish you were driving in Kansas. But in the end, it was worth it. I got to be excited going, I got to be excited getting there, I got to be excited recounting it to my parents and now to anyone reading this. I’ve written in the past about this seemingly endless rut and trying to get out. Those roads to Mount Rushmore were my path out.
I am not going to settle for life to just march on. That’s not my path. Instead, I’m going to try. I’m going to cheer on friends and embrace some of my passions in a greater sense. I’m going to pursue things that I want and avoid the same things that have worn on me. I’m going to go to a few more concerts and write about a few more tracks that catch my attention. To soundtrack this moment is Last Bayou off of Wolf Gang’s latest EP. It’s a track I would have blogged about two months ago when it came out if I was more invested at the time.
This won’t be the last time I promise to blog more and it won’t be the last time I feel like I’m in a rut, but it will be the last time that I just shrug and not proactively try to change my tomorrow. Every once I’ll need to take a drive and go out on all those roads that can lead anywhere to reassure myself of the path forward. This weekend I went out on those roads and on them I promised myself that I won’t give up on dreaming.
Last Bayou by Wolf Gang Official